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Parenting From the Road
By Jeff Conley

Have your kids ever cried on Sunday night because they knew you were leaving on Monday morning? If you are a busy professional who is married with children, chances are you have felt the tension and guilt of trying to be a great parent and a great professional. Obviously, our families are important to us and from their perspective, it may seem that too much of our time and attention gets directed toward work. They might be right.

According a recent study conducted by the Travel Industry Association of America, business travelers are making 32% more trips today than they were just a decade ago. More trips mean more meetings and while that may be good for the airlines, these escalating demands of time at work also means more time away from home.

Three years ago, I began to ask other traveling business professionals, who are also parents, how they stayed connected with their kids while being away on business. Little by little, I collected the best ideas I heard and put them into practice in our family. I'll share these ideas with you under one condition. Promise me you'll use them only as a stop gap measure during unavoidable seasons of intensity and resist the slow spiral that results in a lifestyle of parenting from the road. I've found that centering your life around work alone can be devastating for family security and stability. Our kids need us to be there for them, physically as well as emotionally. That being understood, here are some of those great ideas from other world class professionals who are also working hard to be great parents…

  • Buy a disposable camera and taking it along as a way of sharing your business travel experiences with your family.
  • Email your spouse and kids while online with your business correspondence.
  • Carry the most recent pictures of your family and place them on the night stand or dresser in your hotel room.
  • Have the kids fax you their drawings and homework from school.
  • Use a push pin map of the US or the world so your kids can see where you are going and all of the places you have been.
  • Put an extra $100. in your spouse purse or wallet with a stickie note that says surprise!!
  • Encourage your family to leave you voice mails. Save them so you can call late at night when you're working late and still hear their voice after they've gone to sleep.
  • Once a year, take your family on one of your nicer business trips.
  • When you get back into town after your trip, rather than go straight to the office, go pop in on your kids at school and go see if you can take your spouse to lunch for just a few moments alone.
  • Order a room service breakfast typical to what you eat at home, then call your family while they're eating and have breakfast together.
  • Before you leave, watch for a sunny day of weather and let your kids sleep in. Call into the office and tell them you won't be in. When your kids come down the hall panicking after they've realized they're late for school, tell them today is a snow day. When they go to the window and see sunshine instead of snow, tell them you declared today a snow day and there will be no work for you and no school for them. Whatever they want to do is what the day is for as long as you do it together. What a memory maker this idea is!
  • Give your spouse your attention while you are away. Nothing says I love you more than a good listener.
  • If you travel a lot, reward your spouse with some of your frequent flyer miles for a well deserved break away trip.
  • Educate your family about what you actually do while your gone. Otherwise, the children may tend to think that all you do is go to parties and fly around in a plane.

Probably the best thing any of us can do for any of our family members is slow down, listen to them and try to see things through their eyes. I was reminded of that not to long ago, when I got an email from a client. She wanted to share with me an anonymous poem she had come across on the web, a poem she called "Slow Dance."

"Slow Dance."

Today watch your kids play on a merry-go-round…
Smell the rain as it slaps the ground.
Follow a butterfly's erratic flight or
gaze at the sun as it sets into night.
Don't have the time, you say, too much to do.
I'll get to it later, then time gets to you.

Better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

When the day is done, do you lie in bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head?
Ever put off your child with a ,"We'll do it tomorrow"
Then in your haste not noticed his sorrow?

Better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

See, when you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through each day,
its like an unopened gift just thrown away.

Life's not a race
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before your song is over.

Author "Unknown"

Layer upon layer, day after day, these little expressions of love begin to make a difference. Remember, what counts is that you take the time to do the little things. We can show our families how much we love them even while we're away.



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